Friday, June 2, 2017

Frailty Of Life

Welcome to "What's Good, Scott?" the blog where we aim to answer that titular question weekly.  This is a place where you will find funny (hopefully) suggestions for "Good" foods, music, experiences, etc... to try.  I share and suggest in a hope that you will partake in the suggested items and find as much joy in them as I do.  Today, I am going to zag on you a bit.

"Lanercost Priory Graveyard" by Dr Joseph Valks from FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Death happens.  To everyone.  Sometimes it is the perfect scenario of comfort in old age, surrounded
by friends and family, knowing that you have left your legacy.  Sometimes it happens in a way that leads other to describe the loss of life as "tragic" or "too soon."  It can happen to all of us at any time and will happen to all of us sometime.  The healthy die randomly while people smoke cigarettes into their eighties.  Some people survive insane, "near death" experiences while others die under anesthesia for routine surgeries.  The reaper comes for us all.  "What's Good, Scott?"  The finality of death!....... Just kidding.  But, it is true that life is fragile and we are not guaranteed anything except that it will end one day.


This all seems very dark and not in the spirit of the blog, but I really feel that it is important to share this.  I spoke to an acquaintance the other day, in passing, and asked him "how has today been?"  His answer startled me in it's honesty: "I'm on the right side of the ground!  I haven't got much to complain about."  It was clever and immediately made me think of death and burial.  He could have died, but didn't and derived joy from that.  Simple, yet profound.  Another friend answers this same question with "Well, I woke up."  Another straightforward statement that leaves me feeling that my friend feels lucky to have gotten to be alive this day.  Life is fragile.  Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present (so Parmesan cheesy that it stinks).

For many people, life is not about today, but what will come when our days run out.  Death is not met with fear, but rather welcomed as a chance to find completion.  If your religious beliefs cause you to long for the peace that awaits in death, that's fine too.  Today is still valuable as it is another day to share your beliefs with others and honor the cosmic power that sustains you.  Whether your hope is in your life or your afterlife, living today well is still a valuable endeavor.

If you are healthy and making ends meet, you are having a good day.  There are so many ways that life can defecate on you and if you are not experiencing any of them, you are having a good day.  Enjoy that good day and do what you can to share it with others.  Life is fragile and we don't know how many of our days will be good days like this, so bask in it.  Roll around in it like a lazy cat in sunlight.

I am prone to depression.  This makes my brain and body find reasons for every day to be a bad day.  But, I have recently had a weird realization that is changing my outlook daily: I am, in no way, guaranteed today or tomorrow.  That means that this day is raw materials in the universe that I could easily not have had.  I could have been born sick and died in the NICU.  I could have been a poor kid in Syria trying to go to a hospital that someone is bombing.  I could have been kidnapped and added to some serial killer's body count.  It's wholly possible that someone texting behind the wheel could just smash into me.  If you frame it like that (or any of the other hundreds of bummer possibilities) you can see bad days as good days in hiding.  It seems like something could always be worse.  Life is fragile and can go south real quick.  Though we may not have luck in life, we are lucky to be alive.

Now, I am speaking from my worldview and not yours.  There are things that people struggle with that make them feel like today is not worth the trouble.  I am not attempting to diminish your struggle, but rather shine positivity (a ludicrous notion for those who know me) into the situation and offer a potentially different perspective.

My current greatest fear is developing a chronic illness that causes me to suffer while sapping my life and stability away, so much so, that it causes me to focus on and obsess about the end so much that I waste the now and make the lives of my family sad and miserable before I am even gone.  If that happens, you will probably throw this post in my face.  "Take your own advice!" you might say.  And I should.  Back when I used to hope for death, my dad was giving me crap about eating poorly.  I spoke boldly and told him "Whatever, man!  Who wants to live to be 80?!"  His statement was quick and decisive..."people who are 79."  He's right.  Every day is another chance to tell your loved ones how loved they are.  If you have no one to love, every day is another chance to find someone.  Every day is another chance to make peace with your enemies.  Every day is another chance to do something meaningful.  As I said before, these days are raw materials, with which we can do amazing, impactful things.  If you are sick, your life is arduous and painful, and maybe your time is running out, that makes this day all the more important.  Life is fragile and if you have today, that is a good thing.

And another thing...life isn't just about quantity.  Quality comes into play as well.  I was talking to my friend Marissa who is a nurse, often dealing with terminally ill children, and we were talking about how she sees 10 year old children who have "lived" more than adults, regularly.  She hit me with a great quote that I want to share with you, like the Paul Baribeau song above:
"Some people are aware that their mortality is a ticking time bomb so they fill it (their life) to the brim with more fulfilling experiences than someone who was just unhappy for 97 years… make your life as full as you can for as long as you can, and don't just ride it like a roller coaster because eventually you'll have to get off.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, quantity shouldn't motivate quality because then living a full life is driven by fear, however if you embrace and love your human nature and exercise it every day, dying won't seem nearly as scary because you are alive without the shadow of death reminding you that one day you won't be."
Strong words from someone who has seen a fair amount of death in her young life, yet still endeavors to be happy.  There's a book called "Happiness Is A Choice," and it's true.  We should not wait until our days become even more limited to enjoy them more than we do now.

So, "What's Good, Scott?"  It may be controversial to say, but (in a way) the frailty of life is good, because it frames everything for us.  People make large financial decisions and choose to buy things that are available for a "limited time," because of the unique nature of the product or the limited supply.  I am telling you that our lives are unique and our days are in limited supply, so buy in.  A life well lived is "What's Good."

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed this. I too worry/obsess about having some terrible disease that I cannot afford care for and in the end leave this earth in pain. In context to this article...that worry is a waste of my time and energy and effort. Thanks for bringing it to the forefront.

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